Why compare ourselves to others?

Posted on May 4, 2013 by Tara

There is an idea that people think they have to achieve and be a certain thing before they are worthy of anything in their lives.

I think that I’m not good enough to be around certain people – people who have achieved higher things in life because I think that all I have done in my life isn’t enough.

Being alive isn’t enough, learning through life isn’t enough, achieving things in school isn’t enough, learning to just get by isn’t enough.

The more constructive thought that “I am important and so is every other person on this earth” and everything we experience in life matters on a world scale, certainly feels much nicer to hear than thinking we need to BE something different or achieve something ‘else’ to live up to so called standards, often our own standards imbedded in us. We all really do make a vibrational difference to this world in one way or another, so in hindsight “comparing” ourselves to others is really just an illusion that we choose to live in sometimes. Judging and comparing ourselves to another’s potential leaves us in a constant state of denial – denying our own life’s path. Some of us have had a glimpse of our own full potential and some don’t even know what that is exactly or what it entails, but the truth is that we ALL matter regardless of our circumstances and where our lives are at right NOW!

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You’re constantly contributing to this world! You and me and everyone else are no different to others so called “success”. Often people can and will inspire an idea or a way of being inside of us, that’s REALLY what we are here to contribute to one another, rather than the judgment that “I should be where they are, why aren’t I?”  Although questioning is important to help us move forward in life, judgment does NOT go hand in hand with your own personal growth, in fact it will stunt your growth even further.

We underestimate ourselves way to much and society has this perceived perception of ‘success’. Everyone is equal and no one is better than anyone else because no one IS anyone else. We are our own selves, and that alone is sacred and a special gift to this earth. Even the ‘worst person in the world’ has a place here on earth which can form into different types of awareness for others.

Personally, I doubt myself. I doubt that I can be with certain people because they are perceived by society to achieved something ‘big’ in life, but the truth is that life is big itself so anyone in it is already successful, wouldn’t you agree? Let’s face it, life can be challenging at the best of times, and we all cope every different to each given situation, therefore it really is impossible to compare ourselves to others when we are all so different!?

Do not be perceived by the deception of “success” and higher achievers. People who are noble enough to be the high achievers or “successful” people and do it humbly still get critiqued for making things happen for themselves. It’s inevitable! I guess the only thing we can control is noticing how we react and allowing ourselves the opportunity to “inquire” within ourselves why this hurts so much. Our triggers of these type of people is something to look at in yourself as there is room for inner healing to move forward and beyond where you feel “stuck”in life.

“I have come so far in life to realise that growth is how I can remember who I really am – perfect in all ways”

You are needed and you are always loved. If a person annoys you because you feel that they are doing more in their life than you have done in yours, then this is something worth looking at with appreciation of noticing the trigger and loving yourself enough to allow it to move through you rather than stay within you like an annoying dis-ease.

Love n light

~ Tara Lea

Posted in Healing - mind, body, spirit, Relationships | Leave a comment

A love letter I received

Posted on May 4, 2013 by Tara

Dear Tara,

I know this may be hard for you to hear, because you often don’t think you’re really all that good, but I do want to tell you that you’re doing an amazing effort to help yourself and your family’s life flow. I mean seriously; you’re running your own business’, raising 2 children who only up until recently you thought you might loose in custody, you’re growing another beautiful soul in your body, you’re an amazing lover constantly giving out all your love and support to those closest to you and you’re still able to be creative and live from inspiration. I want you to know that it’s no wonder you’re tired and hungry often with all this going on. Don’t feel guilty about napping, eating more than usual, needing lots of down time and lots of affection – it’s part of the flow.

Be gentle on yourself. Do what is MOST important to you in this short period of time. This pregnancy will not last long and neither will any ‘symptoms’ – so take a moment each day to remember my words of love to you on how awesome you are doing and if you could see what I can see, you would stop being so hard on yourself and take more baths, ask for a massage, receive loving words and feel yourself completely surrounded by love – always.

So much love and support to you

Tara Lea (Your higher self)

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I wrote this letter to myself – from my higher self – because I was beating myself up about feeling tried, having so much to organise, caring for kids – thinking I wasn’t being good enough to them, and thinking that I can love more and be better…. blah blah blah…. Although I always strive to be better, I first had to realise that I already AM better than where I have been, or where I was. I HAD to realise my journey and how each day I strive to evolve more into consciousness. 

I encourage YOU to do the same. You don’t have to put it public on a blog, like I have here, it can be as personal as you want. The most important thing is that you start telling yourself how far you’ve come – we’re all aware that we can go further – but just acknowledge yourself NOW and appreciate that moment.

Love n Support

~ Tara Lea

Posted in Children, Healing - mind, body, spirit, Mummas, Parenting, Pregnancy & Birth(s) | Leave a comment

The best product you could ever sell?

Posted on May 4, 2013 by Tara

A common thought pattern in my circle of friends, clients etc is “What is the best product I can sell that will make money?” It often leaves us feeling like it’s all too much hard work to even begin to think about a “bigger and better idea” than what everyone else in the world has come up with so far. BUT there is ONE thing that only YOU can offer… Here’s my tip:

 

Posted in Purposeful Business | Leave a comment

Why Being Positive Sucks

Posted on April 14, 2013 by Tara

I get the feeling that the all popular beliefs of ‘being positive’ and ‘having a positive attitude’ trend is getting old with some people as their endless amounts of effort to ‘stay positive’ has not got them to where they want to get to in life.

I’ve been there. I was a HUGE convert and a preacher on ‘being/staying positive’. Although the positive thought patterning helped me remain ‘sane’ for all those years, the journey has been slow. I thought (and was convinced by all the books) that if I changed my attitude, life will dramatically change for me. Things did change, but mostly just internally and I found it extremely difficult to manifest things into physical. I’ve always wondered ‘why’ and only now have I realised the answer to my own question.

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My life journey has seemed to lead me on a path of an unconventional and holistic lifestyle – nothing less than healing emotional scars & the physical body. The older I get the more ‘stuff’ that comes up. This doesn’t happen to everyone (I’ve discovered), but more than likely if you’re reading this blog you are on the path of healing too. So I’ll write here assuming you are with me on this path.

Books after books, CD’s, DVD’s and courses and STILL I hadn’t seemed to have this whole ‘manifesting’ thing down pat. Naturally I wondered what was ‘wrong with me’ since other people were having such great success…. But just not me.

I was sold ‘the dream’ many times over but I’ve never seemed to be able to make it work like all other people in a MLM (multi level marketing) . I understood all the information and it resonated, but still the glue wasn’t sticking – WHY oh Why!?

 

Why staying positive just wasn’t enough….

My personal growth/development is always full steam ahead, I’m always learning new ways to BE, but only when I realised something very important was I able to define the whole ‘staying positive’ attitude and see that it wasn’t helping me grow.  I was swimming upstream – going against my own flow. I was a copy cat, I was in the category if an ‘optimist’ or ‘happy go lucky’ or a ‘positive person’ – I remember getting labeled those things in school! What this lead to was a ‘happy no matter what’ Attitude but I was STILL was missing the mark on my physical manifestations, to the point where I really wondered if God was trying to prove a point which my sub conscious mind believed – that was: ‘worldly possessions’ are not for me. I should only want the simple things!!!!

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 The point I missed

The mark I was missing was the alignment with my core beliefs -my heart centred desires. I think being ‘positive’ it’s a natural way of being that we humans naturally acquire, like animals, there’s that inner contentment that everything is A-OKAY. What my personal journey has been is that I’ve naturally been in my natural state of being on the surface, but deeply seeded was so much pain, anger, hurt, unworthiness and lack of trust. My positive thoughts were acting like a band-aid effect – covering the wound but not allowing it to ‘air out’ and heal properly. I naturally evolved into the wisdom of ‘airing out’ my hurts and wounds with no real intention, I just had an inner knowing and desire to do so. So the journey begun (full time) about 3 years ago and I haven’t looked back since. In the last 3 years so many of my ‘Dreams’ and goals I had, have been manifesting into the physical AND it keeps getting better! The more I dig deep into ‘who I really am’ which comes through healing emotional wounds the more I’m able to manifest into the physical. Here are just a few:

- I was able to live my dream of traveling Australia with my kids and now ex-husband (didn’t get all the way around, but I got what I needed).

- I won a trip to Cancun in Mexico (but didn’t go, it was kinda one if those things I wanted to prove I could win- I’ve never won anything in my life!)

- Money flows much easier now-a days! I don’t have anywhere near as much money stress as previously.

- I seem to be good at manifesting ‘ideal situations’ for any given situation in my life.

- The people I attract in my life are outstanding! I have so much love and support around me!

-The opportunities that surround me each and every day blows me away. I feel like I have so many more options in life.

 The key that unlocks the door

 Here is the real secret to helping things manifest from your positive thoughts and intentions and creating a reality you adore; I’ve found it fun and I’ve been ‘playing’ with this a lot and all I can say is “this shit really works!” I bet you’ve heard it before too…. And that is to A-S-K ! For weeks sometimes, even months, I’ll ponder on an idea, feel confused and sometimes overwhelmed… Or I’ll try to ‘over think’ how I can MAKE something my reality. Then I remember…. “Oh, that’s right I can ASK…” I’ve found a trust-worthy and extremely reliable co-worker who will do anything for me. The more I heal and raise my consciousness the more I am connected to my source, my natural state of being – to receive abundantly (and to give abundantly too). You’re already half way there I bet!? You should try it, just ask..

Who to ask…?

What resonates with you the most? Is it God(s)? The universal energies? Mother Nature? Goddess? Angels? Fairies?

You need to find your Avatar. Find what resonates best with you. Mine changes depending on what I ask for. For instance, to me it feels weird asking ‘God’ to help me manifest a food processor but I’m totally comfortable asking the universe to align this… Or if I want protection of some sort I’ll ask the Angels, sometimes I tap into my higher self (wisdom) and ask there for things.

You need to find what resonates and use it!

Everything is real if you believe it to be – ultimately what we’re really doing when we ask forces outside of our physical body, is we are tapping into our ultimate and unlimited self. We are all spiritual woo woo things! We are spirits housed in a body – a big skin and organ bag! Our spirits are at the same level of any of the above spiritual beings mentioned.

With that in mind, use the power of ASKING to help you manifest they things you want in your life. Ask without any expectations on how it will unfold…. just have fun with it and go with the flow. If you REALLY needed what you think you need right now, you would have it – so that creates room for play, GO AND PLAY, loosen up a little and don’t think life is all that serious… because in the end our physical bodies die anyhow right!? ~ PLAY! ~

"GO PLAY!"

“GO PLAY!”

 

Posted in Healing - mind, body, spirit, Inspired Living | Leave a comment

Is there really such thing as the Perfect Balance?

Posted on April 6, 2013 by Tara

I’ve been searching for the “perfect balance” since having my first child over 4 years ago at the same time realising that I wanted to ignite my personal passions as well as be a passionate & connected Mumma – can you relate? 

"First time Mumma back in 08"

“First time Mumma back in 08″

As my life got busier incorporating my passions into motherhood – everyday life - things got much more stressful and out of balance than I was lead to believe. I thought once ignited my passions and found them that there SUDDENLY would be a perfect balance – imagine children and mumma running through a daisy field stopping to smell the flowers. I thought there was an answer. I searched and discovered and misunderstood this whole CONVENTIONAL  – yep that’s right – conventional – status of “finding the perfect balance” – which included the perfect body, perfect health, perfect eating, perfect sex life, perfect amount of time with the kids, perfect amount of time on my own projects, just to name a few – That is A LOT of effing things to fit into a day… if not a week…. or a YEAR! 

 I thought that aiming for the perfect balance (with 2 children at this time) was possible. I was told it was possible. I’d seen blogs and websites dedicated to the “Perfectly Balanced Life” and I just knew it was for me…waiting for the white light to show up suddenly and everything is in perfect order and harmony – I mean other people had it, why couldn’t I!? 

On further investigation I discovered quite disturbing news, that the bloggers and website owners (and any other person who was an advocate for a “balanced lifestyle”) STILL didn’t find their Perfect Balance! That made me think “Well, I’ll show them – SOMEONE has to be a leader in this field” So I begun my mission to find the PB (Perfect Balance). Years later I seemed to be in the same position as before. So now I’m an advocate for a FLOWING life rather than a fucked up impossible standards (yep there’s that frustration) of a conventionally driven PB lifestyle. 

 Here are a few things I’ve discovered about trying to find my Perfect Balance:

 1. It’s stressful – it’s stressful thinking that you have something to achieve that is completely impossible (as a mum at least) and almost in-human to achieve.

 2. Conventional wisdom encourages the “Perfect Balance”, this made me question “why” – so in my detective work I found that if we are constantly trying to search, find and HAVE the PB then we spend more money in the economy & we use more government funded resources (I’m sure there are more, but these are just the umbrella ideas).

 3. Think about the food pyramid - seriously…. as a woman I can say that there is no way that on an everyday basis for the rest of my life that I’ll want to eat foods like the pyramid suggest. For me it changes every week if not everyday… My point being that we (as evolved and conscious functioning women/men) cannot easily conform to ONE thing for a LONG time, because we want to grow, transform, be better, discover more about ourselves, accept our dark side, be connected to ourselves and our families and lead a passionate life – now that is a cause for total different diet depending on “where you are at” in life.

 4. It keeps you disconnected from what really matters….. NOW. Right now this present moment is to be savoured. Why? Because that moment is all we have and it will never repeat itself again – ever! Trying to constantly search and achieve the PB lifestyle keeps us disconnected from ourselves, the people and inspiration around us – it keeps us acting like robots in society, conforming to the conventional (un)wisdom. Which leads again into point #2.

Out with the Balance, in with the Flow

 Let life flow! I’m not going to tell you that I’ve “found my flow” and that I’m running through the daisy field… in fact half the reason I’m writing this article is because I need to confirm to myself of my own core beliefs… I just have readers who are mostly aligned with my thoughts – yay, not the only crazy one! 

 What is Life Flow?

Here’s my idea: Life flow is about riding that waves that come to you. Like the ocean & surfing (I’ve never surfed in my life): You never know what waves you will ride, but you take what you can get. They are not always the best ones, some really suck and others you feeling like your on top of the world.

So lets take a little piece from the ocean (and surfing, which I have no idea about), lets ride the waves that come to us. So if you:

 ~ Feel like shit – FEEL it!

~ If you want to laugh until your gut hurts – do it

~ If you want to eat chocolate – then YUM!

~ If you want to be creative – BE it

~ If you want to make love with someone (or masturbate- yourself or someone else)…. DO NOT hesitate! 

~ If you want to roll down a hill with your kids (or by yourself) – Be the first!

~ If you feel depressed – ride the wave, you’re not going to stay that way… because you don’t WANT to (is the universal law)

~ If you feel like screaming, then…. DO IT (preferably not at someone, unless they want you to LOL) 

~ Want to rant about someone treating you a certain way – do it in a safe environment where others can support you (or write it out).

You get the point. 

"......or talk to a tree...."

“……or talk to a tree….”

 Wherever you are at any given time is what your flow is. There is no Perfect Balance (sorry advocates) – well at least there isn’t for people like us who are constantly evolving and BE-ing. Everything you do in every minute matters and is not to be judged, but rather accepted then move on.

How the world is structured is so judgemental – Schools, employment, diets, exercise, parenting… it always seems like we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH…. we HAVE TO BE BETTER…. But the REAL reality here, right now is:

 YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, YOU ARE ENOUGH – and it just gets better, because you are flowing and riding the waves that come your way. 

 The other real reality is that life itself is uncontrollable. Shit happens to everyone regardless of how much they use the Law of Attraction to NOT focus on things – Shit happens…. so why don’t we just let it, rather than judge it. It reminds me of the saying “Why worry about something that is going to happen anyhow” – WISE.

 Be gentle on your soul. Find peace in flow, and forget about balance, because as the universe changes and shifts everyday we are also changing and shifting.

 Peace out!

 Love & Daisy Fields

 ~ Tara

Posted in Health/Wellbeing, Inspired Living, Mummas | Leave a comment

Cutting Ties With Men

Posted on March 24, 2013 by Tara

It all started when I visited the naturopath for a whole body analysis check up and ended with a pink Lilly in the bath tub.

Men have been in my experience all my life – believe it or not ;-) and some experiences have been positive and other ones not so. It’s inevitable – that men will always be in my life experience, thankfully.

While I was at the naturopath I had a full body analysis done but in a way that I’ve never experienced, it was called Nutri Energectics - the extreme details it went to of my inside body as well as my energy was incredible and very insightful. As we were going through all the ‘need fixes’ something popped up about emotions and not feeling good enough… After the naturopath had heard my history of the late with the seperation of my husband she looked at her computer screen, then looked at me and asked “did you’re ex-husband put you down a lot?” I froze…. Not knowing what to say. Do I say what’s in my head:

“Well I felt put down, but he would deny that..” 

and

“no not really…” And “I guess I deserved it…” 

and…

“I feel so, but maybe I’m wrong and I don’t want to make him look bad…” 

Or do I say how I really feel and start crying…? As I murmured out the words…“well I guess, ‘I’ think so, but he would disagree…” Why was I thinking about him disagreeing with me? I thought to myself, then a layer of the old onion begun to peel.

I left the naturopath with some bush flower essences and a bottle of ultra flora (gut bacteria) bro-biotic, somewhat doubting if a bottle of something that looked like water (flower essence) could help me shift some trauma and deep seeded emotions – even though homeopathics have never failed me time and time again.

The rest of the morning was a rush to get all my work done while the kids were not in the home…. Then afternoon it hit (after taking a dose of my ‘water’ – flower essence). I began to feel something stir, it has been stiring for a few weeks now and it was time to shed.

The kids dad called and I wanted to tell him of the cough that our daughter had which was concerning me and I tried to explain that I think it steams from her immune system being compromised since they were vaccinated… Of course he disagreed and seemed to always interrupt me when I would speak, so I found myself saying “can you just listen to me…?” Mostly ended in “…. This is exactly why wee not together…. Blah blah blah….” It ended up with me hanging up because I felt I was not being respected and heard, I felt I’ve given him my ear many times. I texted him clearly stating that I refuse to talk with him over the phone because he is unable to hear me, therefore it won’t work, so only email or text communication – boundary set (which I’m sure he will try bend, but I must trust myself to stand in my truth).

So this lead into feels of guilt and processing all the possibilities that I could have been treated unfairly by (yet another) man, in the past and in the now and realising that I can’t just “walk away from it” as he is the kids dad and we see each other at least twice a week with kid drop offs. Coming to those terms I knew I had to face something.

Dinner sucked… I’m sure it looked wholesome and nutritious to any eye but it didn’t feed me well. It was rushed and not really done with love, but the kids seemed to like it! If I prepare a sucky dinner I know there’s an imbalance, I just wanted my then working lover to be here to help, but then again I now know I needed that space to flow with my emotions and another man hanging around (as much as he is a dream come true) it just wouldn’t flow, it would block up like a drain. My kids are sensitive to how I feel so I’m sure the neighbours heard them (from 2 streets down)!

I read to the kids a story about Grandad loosing his teeth and how the police had to get involved because they were stolen and everyone in the small town was a suspect, so everyone had to smile all the time to prove they weren’t a suspect! Anyhow, entertaining to say the least! It was early when they feel asleep – thank fuck, as I knew I needed to do ‘something’ to shift this energy. I jumped on the computer, the Internet wouldn’t work… “Right” I thought “must be something else I need to do……”

The bath was glaring at me with its white porcelain eyes… So I began to collect my treasure of water, geranium essential oils, ‘goddess Tara’ incense, a pregnancy book, hymilan salt and a beautiful pink Lilly that the kids and I picked while our walking near the water.

I put my iPhone into iTunes and began to play my birthing/pregnancy music by a beautiful singer friend Ganga – Eco’s of the Goddess’ - perfect… I floated my pink Lilly in the bath water.

I got in, I didn’t feel drawn to reading so I just relaxed in the soothing water. My baby begun to kick and move like crazy, big waves of body movements in my belly always makes me feel pretty awesome and blessed to be naturing a soul into physical body.

I felt like crying, so I did… Only little streams of tears, I felt there was more, I began to explore my emotions and ‘inquire’ from within. Suddenly all the men (not all intimate relationships) in my life that I’ve felt hurt and ‘done wrong by’ came to mind. I then expressed sadness that I felt I could never be heard by them and that I allowed myself to have boundaries crossed because I was afraid of speaking up. From being violently belted, bullied, sexually abused and unable to say “no” in any given situation and not being heard I began to feel guilt. I knew I had to forgive myself from not standing up and having the guts to say what I mean. Most if those situations could have been prevented if I just had the ‘guts’. I got a feeling that this lifetime wasn’t the only lifetime that this has happened to my soul. Then the real cleansing tears flowed, now that was feeling much better already! Minutes later they were flowing in waves, this felt good, this was happening all the while I was looking at this pink Lilly I had picked. Staring at a flower and crying is not something that I’ve done before. A week beforehand I drew an oracle card which was “flowers” I thought “how much more corny can that get!?” But as I read the description saying how the colours, smell and sight of flowers is what I need to encourage healing. The cards never lie!

As I released the tears I began to notice something different about the flower that I hadn’t noticed before – it had yellow at the base of it and it had beautiful white stripes through its petals, so it was actually a Golden yellow Pink Lilly with white stripes. It was way more that just a pink Lilly. I felt that since I noticed this about a flower and released some energy that my consciousness naturally raises to higher vibrations, I was really enjoying this moment!

 Then….. Something stirred again… This times it wasn’t tears, I felt a bondage to these emotions still – to these particular men I was thinking of – this HAD to go. Some of the men I hadn’t seen in a long time and some I see regularly, what I was feeling was unhealthy. It brought me back to spending sometime with my beautiful friend Gini from Ingelara Healing Retreat straight after I told my husband that our relationship wasn’t working. She allowed me to feel through the ‘cutting the cords’ type of meditation. That was VERY emotional! So I knew what I had to do – cut the ties that was linking me and holding me ‘captive’ to these traumatic feelings which included these particular men. One by one I imagined and actual umbilical cord (that’s how strong the attachment was!) of cutting through skin and veins, I wanted to cut off any existing energy going to these men. One by one: me holding scissors and cutting the cord as a doctor or midwife would do. I felt that I was choosing my boundary and finally I was able to be heard, even though it was just me hearing. But the great thing about energy is that when you ‘cut your ties’ or cords with energy (aka people – people are energy) you no longer want to be attached to, that energy shifts and you create more room in your life for love and you have healed on another level – another layer stripped back. I don’t feel this is the only time I’ll be cutting cords with these particular men, but I do feel it has a significant purpose in the overall healing of my past which holds me back from my truth and ultimately my life purpose. Every lifetime we live  in a lifetime again we have a chance to be at a higher consciousness which contributes to world vibrations, which ultimately leads to world healing on many levels, physically and emotionally.

This is exactly why I’m co-hosting the Women’s Spiritual Healing Retreat – the purpose is to bring women out of their ordinary, everyday life and allow them to heal from the shit that has been holding them back for do long. Even to start the journey of healing is such an important part to a woman’s (and a mans) life, this is what leads to the feeling of a purposeful life where everything that comes into your experience is simply a “what can I gain from this experience?” A much more preferred way of BE-ing on a personal level. Plus having a bunch on women together laughing, chatting, walking, exploring and kissing camels is just simply a life enchanting experience! To join me and 4 other women on this one time only adventure (not doing another) you can get you’re early bird pricing at $1470 for 5 days fully catered for adventure (you just have to get there)! then email me and Pip (my beautiful co-creating Goddess) at womensspiritualhealingretreat@gmail.com and we can send you more info. We only have 3 places left so follow your calling.

See more info here too.

Love, light and healing to you!

~ Tara Lea

 

 

Posted in Healing - mind, body, spirit, Relationships, Spiritual Journey | Leave a comment

What is with women & needing to feel secure?

Posted on January 20, 2013 by Tara

Hello beautiful! I know my presence here as a blogger has been rare the past few months, but it has been a blessing to me to gather my thoughts and establish a new life after separation from my husband AND meeting my soul mate (and falling pregnant!) I know a lot hey, but life doesn’t wait!

"14 Weeks of growing love"

I recently posted something from deep within me on Facebook and I had a fabulous response – mostly privately, from women saying how much they appreciated my honesty and that they now “know what they feel and need to do”. I get the feeling that I’m becoming a bit of an advocate for women standing into their power and in particular really assessing if our relationship with the men in our lives are really what we want/need. We get so afraid… so afraid of “loosing” people and things. For me it came to a point that “nothing is ever really lost” so I announced to my husband that I’m no longer interested in having a relationship with him (for a variety of reasons).

This post is about us Women and why we feel the need to feel “secure” and why at times, this causes our lives to be “stuck”, not seeming to go anywhere, even though we deeply want it to. This is what I wrote on Facebook:

“As I was mediating today (watching my kids play) I had a sudden feeling of peace come over me, but it came from a place that made me want to dis-miss it straight away. I was thinking about my relationship with my ex-husband and how “secure” he made me feel in our lives together. I was thinking about how he would go to work while I cared of the the kids all day. I imaged him in my new life and a sudden feeling of ‘security’ came over me again. I wanted to explore this feeling more. My husband was certainly good at producing “security” in a conventional sense for me and the kids. I thought “what is this security feeling about?” And I pondered and saw that our entire meeting and relationship had manifested because we both wanted to feel security. For me I wanted a ‘singed contract’ that a man would love and care for me “to death do us part”. As I look at the life I had with him I realise I had a good life, BUT I outgrew it. People say to me when they hear of the news that I choose to separate from him “Oh, but you seemed so happy!?” I was, because I was feeling “secure”. I outgrew this life which has lead me to a bigger (full of more challenges) more “ris-kay” life. I needed to fulfil my purpose in life and I couldn’t do that while being with him (opposite personalities). I thought he would change to suit my growth but he couldn’t because that was not his path. Although he offered great security, I was in my “comfort zone” therefore not exploring my true potential until my heart lead me to my new life which a lot of it is “unknown” and there’s not much security expect in myself, which I have not fully embraced yet.”

I know some women felt triggered (I’ve been getting those vibes and messages too) and I know for some other women that it was “there time” to hear a message like this. The message was not directed at anyone, but as you can see and feel (and common to us women), we tend to see “what’s in it for me” – isn’t that divine of us?

let me elaborate on feeling “secure” by relating to my story. As I said above, often when we are feeling secure we feel can either feel:

1) In the flow, like life is exactly how you want it

or

2) You can feel stuck, like you want so much more from life, but it just aint happening.

These 2 types of security feeling are directly related to either yourself (and solely that) or others (likes husbands, partners, family and friends etc).

Most of us know the quote “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” but what does your comfort zone look like?

Is it standing in front of a crowd of people a talking?

Is it standing up to someone who gives you the shits?

Is it doing something you thought you would never do?

Is it staring that new business?

I can announce that I have done all of that…. and still I was in my comfort zone, those things above (plus much more) are easy compared to soul searching inside of myself and really seeing where my comfort zone ends.

My confront zones ends where I’m able to listen to my heart/soul/higher self speak. My heart was saying “this relationship isn’t working” my comfort zone gate keeper was saying “Hey, you’re secure, everything is fine!”

Feeling secure in relationships is a total illusion! Yep, it’s true, just think at anytime on any day relationships can end, and rather than thinking this is a terrible thing to think about (I’ve been there) this could totally help you shift into more security, because the ONLY thing that can help you feel security – it isn’t marriage, relationships, a nice home, family and friends (they all ADD to this but do not make it up), is YOU! Only YOU can feel secure in yourself. You’ve heard it before “You’re so insecure” or “I’m so insecure” – Imagine if you could get to a place in your own sprit body where all feelings of security rely on YOU and anything else that enters your life (as above) is just a bonus! Imagine the abundance you could feel!?

I had to hit rock bottom to realise this (and most of us do – and that’s OKAY). I had to feel totally powerless like everything was out of my control, and it certainly felt like that, to realise the power that I do actually have. The fact is about life is we do need other people to ‘assist’ our security, like jobs, clients, application forms… whatever, we need other people and often we rely on them. The awakening that I had to come to was “Fuck, everything is everywhere, but I hate this feeling of powerlessness, so what shall I do” the answer didn’t come straight away, again it was a journey, the answer gradually lead me to see, feel and be happy and at peace with myself and my situation to allow this flow of life.

And so I did. I let go of expectations from my ex-husband, handed over him everything we owned (finically) and LET it GO! I let go of the ideas and expectations I had of the new and wonderful relationship I have with my new lover (Russell Osborne) and ALLOWED the unfolding. I let go of fear of my kids not having a good life, of me not being able to do what I want to do in life because of restrictions…. I LET IT ALL GO, I had to otherwise I was driving straight into a breakdown and even considered drugs to help! Now don’t get me wrong, my journey is far from over. I’m lucky enough to get issues of “security” pop up for me often and I’m prepared to look at it and feel into what it is that I need to learn from this.

I have looked search and falling into things that I thought could make me feel secure, but the truth is that my soul is always leading me toward my own truth, therefore I know am aware that security cannot be found in anything or anyone it can ONLY be found in myself and any blessing that adds to this (like beautiful relationships etc) is fabulous!

Tell me about your securities and what you would like to break out of to feel the ultimate security within yourself? leave a comment below.

In love and transformation  

Posted in Relationships | 1 Comment

Relationships, Why Bother?

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Tara

So you’re speaking with a  friend and they have just told you of a friendship ‘break up’ or even their failed marriage. Immediately you feel sad that a relationship (of any kind) has ended, but then your friend reassures you that “this is a really good thing” – what does that mean?

Often in relationships we think we have an obligation to meet certain needs of other person(s) involved, and the truth is that we do to a certain extent, but what really strikes me as un-healthy (being through this myself) is the fact that we feel bound by that person, because of this.

Have you ever had that feeling a ‘shoulds’? like you “should’ go visit your friend? Or you “should” cook tea for your family? or you “should” make sure everyone is happy before yourself? or you ‘should’ be responsible of how you make others feel?

Relationships with anyone or anything is certainly one of the most challenging things in life. Just think about it… if there were no relationships there would be no love, or war for that matter! Relationships are essential for life. I have personally tried to avoid them most of my life, but the truth is that we all need them and we cannot escape them.

In my past I’ve build up so many walls and barriers to try and keep myself ‘safe’ from any kind of relationships – friends, family and imitate…. where did that get me? To a very fake place in life, a disfunction and a place of un-happiness. I thought that I could be much happier if I dispelled people from my life who have HURT me. Years and years of barriers and walls built always seem to come crashing down. I would still get ‘hurt’ by others and I would still be unhappy and wishing for particular people to disappear off the face of the planet, but that didn’t happen – just so you know ;-) .

"Remember this part of the Lion King?"

There came a time in my life where what hurt me the most (or should I say hurt my ego) was the fact that no one has actually ever ‘hurt’ me – that I have chosen this feeling and emotion. Eff You Cee Kay!!!!! “Are you serious” I remember thinking to myself, “what kind of fucked up person (aka – me) ins’t intelligent enough to figure this out sooner” – Well the truth here is that I DID figure it out, and it was the right timing, that only THEN (at that time in life) was I willing to SEE it. Then I would continue the cycle of being way too hard on myself. Constant criticism form myself was just taking me down the spiral. 

So the new journey began to begin to take responsibility for my own feelings. At first I felt like a victim – to myself – weird huh! I felt that I was living in a mind and body that wasn’t really who I wanted to be, which was the truth at that time. BUT what I sllllooowwwwlllly begun to understand was that I’m not victim to anything or anyone (including myself) and I need to be OKAY with my own thoughts and feelings – BAM! “Ah huh” moment. AND I made that clear to everyone around me who I ‘thought’ were criticising me of my “interesting” emotions and feeling at this time (in particular only a few weeks after separation from my husband…)

"The Freedom on knowing that you can choose your own feelings"

Discovering that I was the only one responsible for all of my feelings and emotions was a major shift in how I treated myself. I tended to be extremely hard on myself, constantly criticising and almost condemning my own thoughts and feelings. But I learnt to stop myself and say “I’t's OKAY that I’m feeling what I’m feeling” – simple really. So much personal healing from came from this, like an amazing shift.

 What does this all have to do with relationships with others?

Because I struggled to have a good relationship with myself and I respect my own feelings and thoughts, I’m finding it much harder to accept other people and ‘where they’re at’ in life. – TRULY! Suddenly I’m okay for people’s personal choices about life, and how they feel – why? Because I’m okay to myself. I would often get annoyed when people felt sad or frustrated… because I thought that this was not a healthy way to think. So I questioned myself “why is this not a healthy thought?” – so ‘I’ thought about it…. and I came to the conclusion that is IS very healthy to have these thoughts and any others. The only difference is being ‘stuck’ in these thoughts or choosing to move form them. Not validating & being empathetic of how other people felt was just a reflection of myself – I was never empathetic and I was never okay with my own self. BUT once I was okay with myself, my thoughts & feelings the feeling of – for eg. sadness –  this disappeared a LOT quicker than me constantly refusing to be okay with this feeling, but rather criticising myself and telling myself how much I should be thinking other thoughts. Talk about emotional abuse to myself!

To have a good relationship with any other person or thing is it immensely important to have a good relationship with yourself – otherwise they will not last and you will feel hurt. BUT in saying this, be gentle on yourself and your journey. When you surrender to that fact that you ARE on a journey and that everything that happens to you and that everything that you feel, is essential to your life – your personal growth. It’s impossible NOT to grow mentally and emotionally as a person, so why not be “okay” with it now so you can go much further quicker? That’s the truth, when you do surrender to any situation (not give up – but be “okay” with whats happening for you) the storm will ALWAYS pass a lot quicker. This has happened to me on so many occasions, the results have surprised me!

 “You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens”

~ Louise Hay

Tips for all relationships in your life :: 

~ Be gentle on yourself – your thoughts and feelings

~ Be okay with where you’re at, right now

~ Stop criticising yourself so much. Use this as a reminder that its “okay” to be & feel what you’re feeling

~ Enjoy the process of surrendering to a given situation – to be “okay” with it. It’s part of your life purpose

~ Watch the magic happen around you with other relationships in your life as you learn to love and accept yourself more, your other relationships WILL improve!

 

“Every relationship that is in your life right now, is everything you need to grow and be more of the person you’re designed to be”

~ Tara Lea

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My massive life Change, Pain, Growth, healing & Extra-ordinary Journey

Posted on September 1, 2012 by Tara

I woke up after such a peaceful sleep out under the stars in swag. I feared at first that I was alone, but it was also so liberating! I’m lying here waiting for the sun to rise to dry out my swag…. I’m simply just BE-ing! I can’t remember the last time I was able to do this! I feel free to choose and simply be. I think of all you other women who don’t feel like you can choose. That you have to wake with the kids in the morning, get food for them (even though your not hungry yourself), do house duties, all that other stuff that can make us feel dis-empowered because we feel we have a lack of choice and that it is all based on “should’s” & “Have to’s” – I’m thinking of you because I’m thinking of myself. I want you to be free to live your best life yet while still being a loving Mumma, partner etc. It’s possible! I have plans and manifestations in place to help you see yourself, love yourself, and simply sometimes just BE…. because I know what it is like to feel stuck and unable to bust into your extra-ordinary life.

"My view from my swag....where I slept alone...."

Perhaps I have been lying to myself that I’ve found parenting ‘easy’…. I think that the truth is that parenting itself can be ‘easy’ and in the flow, but what I have found the hardest of all is actually parenting myself. I find myself hard work, because after everything during any given day and when all is said and done – with kids and partner in tow…. “who am I?” “why am I living?” “what is my purpose here?” “why do I work to make money?” “why does my partner work to make money?” “why do I clean, and cook and tidy?”

All these questions come to mind…. Re-thinking why I’m doing what I’m doing. I am reconsidering what LIFE is really about…

Do I have that answer now? I’ve been searching for over 25 years…. I remember thinking as a child “why am I here and do I actually belong here ? Because sometimes it feels so weird being here!” Can you relate?

"Contemplating life..... on a mountain of course"

My life right now has been turned upside down in such a short amount of time! It feels that my life is magickally transforming, aligning, and living each day. I feel free to choose and simply BE… For the first time in my life!!!!!!

I’ve let go of my husband soul mate of 5 years of marriage and 15 years of friendship – which I plan to continue by the way! As sad as this situation can be – and it hurts still – I’m   allowing this chance for my mirror to shine back at me, for me to finally see who I have been and why. This is bringing up a lot of past pains and hurts – particularly from childhood, which are being transformed as they pop up (Tipi, smoking (legal) herbs, healer friends, looooong baths and climbing mountains are great for this occasion! ;-) )

I’ve let go of the fact that I’m not the only loving and nurturing person my children need in their life. This has allowed me the space to healing and be loved myself… to find the deepest love EVER… which was within ME! My kids are separate from me right now, which is a little painful, but I continue to get messages from higher conscious to “Use this time wisely, they are safe and loved” – which I interpret as use this time to heal what needs to be healed and know that your kids love you and feel love from you, therefore they are safe and nothing bad will happen.

I’ve found love in the strangest of places…. I’ve been loved before but now I’m IN love and are truly BEing loved. When I opened my life up to love months ago through the transition of fully accepting myself, my whole entire world has opened up and opportunities to love even on a more deeper level are everywhere! To love and be loved – both can be very difficult things to balance.

My wildest dreams are coming true… So effing quickly that I can barely keep up! I’m on my toes trusting that all the alignments – everything – is for the good of me and the world is taking place right now. Every person I met, paths crossed, things seen, are all gifts for me in my life! Seeing everything as opportunity on the scale of global change (yes, I’m truly wanting to help “change the world”) has manifested into magical opportunities to pop into my life and FINALLY the change to not only “Be the change I wish to see” but also proclaim it, teach it, guide people into their extraordinary lives, which ultimately leads into YOU (them) wanting to help the world in your own unique way.

I’m experiencing deep healing from my past which ultimately has got me to where I am right now, living MY life and creating massive wave of change for myself and others! It all started back at the beginning of winter. “Be careful what you wish for” is a very true statement, no regrets there! I just now understand the power I really do have, and no one else outside of myself has any power over my life…. interesting! ;-)

I’m vulnerable! I want be true to myself and you! I have nothing to hide. Not many things are personal and private for me… Because people like you (striving for authenticity yourself) need to see the truth – finally! I wished I’d seen it sooner… But as always “all in good timing!”

Right at this moment in life I am stunned at how amazingly well I can look after myself, I forgot how to do it! the universe, god, angels, goddesses, source take care of me 100% – this was a challenge to let go of ‘controlling’ (is there such thing?) my own life…. but, I really didn’t have a choice – one of those “stuck between a rock and a hard place” things… so what can you do or even HAVE to do? Rely on a higher source that “everything will be okay.” and it is and always has been.

For the first time in my life I feel SAFE and know that bad shit does not happen to me anymore !

"Amongst all life's curve balls.... I'm feeling safe..."

 

I want to get personal with YOU… If you’ve been waiting for your ‘extraordinary’ life for too long now, wondering “how long is this going to take!?” I want to help you to help yourself live your extraordinary life!

I know how to help you! I have some answers for you. I have incredible insights not only from my own experiences but also being part of others. I actually see a system a rhythm that needs to take place for you to be and have your extraordinary life!

I love you dearly because I have learned how to love myself… We are very alike! That’s why you are here! I want to help you live your extra-ordinary!!!!! I really do! I have plans in place on how I can help you here are just a few things I’m brewing ::

:: My first ever Women’s Spiritual Healing Retreat Camel Trek, in November 2012! This baby has been brewing for a while and it all came together after My Transformation of being one with the beautiful healing lands of the Flinders Ranges, South Australia. Seeing myself for the first time ever, having time to reflect on what my purpose is in life, connecting with myself like never before and gaining incredible clarity on my direction in life. “I CANNOT keep this to myself! People need to know about this and experience this for themselves!” Were my thoughts… So, of course I didn’t sit on my arse and dream it away with no action (I’ve been THERE before!), I organized a time and date for women like you to transform & connect massively with themselves and their own life. Wanna join us? There are only 6 places left to join us… check it out HERE.

:: Live workshops – in person workshops/seminars. I want to meet you where you are at! Guide you to you’re own extraordinary self. Help you see clearly for the first time what your extraodinary self looks like, feels like, is doing, what she wants to do! In 2013 I’m planning visits to Brisbane, Canberra, Adelaide & Perth (All in Australia so far) to come and share this message of how extraordinary you really are and how you can bridge that gap between the ordinary that you live and the extraordinary that awaits you! In October I will be holding workshops (like mini-seminars) at the Women’s Lifestyle Expo in Townsville, if you can be there, I would love to meet you!

:: New Sacred Healing Women’s Circle of (virtual) support where you gain 110% support in getting your life to extraordinary. Diggin’ up the crap that has been holding you back for wayyyy too long now so that you can reach your extra-ordinary self/life.  Practical steps you can take, and a place to process your thoughts and feelings (this will be a virtue online thing). Starting in October.

I feel your pain that life hasn’t been all that you have hoped for, I feel it because I know that feeling all too well. I know you have wild wild dreams that you would love to see bare some fruit but the sunshine is finding it hard to peer through the clouds…

Take the step. Make the decision “I choose to finally be my extraordinary self!” and be with me on this journey of transformation as we FINALLY get to be who we really want to be – ALL that we want to be! Read-y?

If you don’t already receive my newsletters in your e-mail inbox I suggest you get signed up straight away so you don’t miss a thing and especially the opportunity to finally live your extra-ordiary life! Click here to sign up

Much love & support as always!

 

 

I’ll be sharing with you my most vulnerable self.

 

 

 

Posted in Healing - mind, body, spirit, Inspired Living, Mummas, Parenting | Leave a comment

Honouring Your Womanly Arts (aka Periods!)

Posted on July 30, 2012 by Tara

I just loooove when it’s ‘that time of the month’!' I never thought I would say those words – ever! Considering of how awful the cycling process used to be for me. It saddens me that I used to have such a hard time – it saddens me that most women still have such a hard time with their – what I like to call – “Womanly Arts”.

Having my period is only a new thing for me. I had a good 3 years of not having any cycles from being pregnant to breast feeding – only in the last 6 months have I been blessed to welcome (even though by surprise) it back. Recently my son and I weaned from each other. It was not just me nor just him, it was a joint venture – weaning or separating from breast feeding. It’s fair to say that it was time. Breastfeeding was more habit based than need - Leanring to accept this was hard, but since I have a whole new (magical) relationship level has opened up for us! I understood that he (Tate) needed comfort but something inside me questioned the ‘how’s’ of it… “maybe there’s a way to fully comfort an almost 2 year without a boob in mouth…?” It wasn’t intentional but the way things manifested was basically the ‘cold turkey’ method. You can read about it HERE along with the emotional journey of it all. I think it’s important to honour all shifts and changes in life, and my breast feeding journey is one I want to honour. Watch my video below

 

It’s true… We don’t not honour ourselves enough – simple! We put such horrid ideas on having our monthly cycles instead we could be honour it. Let me tell you that the day or month that I decided to HONOUR my womanly arts cycles was the day it all changed! I never experienced a painful period again! My hormones shifted in astonishing ways (being on the brink of almost having to go artificial to balance them) and basically wanting to die for 5 days or so! I read a book once that totally shone a whole new light on my “womanly arts” and that book was “Consciously Female” by Tracey Gaudet An amazingly insightful book on seeing yourself and you body cycles in a different light. You can see/buy it in my Book Case.

It’s taken me a good 6 months to get in the groove of my cycles again. I remember freaking out when I saw (sacred) blood while I was still breast feeding Tate – It almost heart broken… I mean One of the benefits of breast feeding (for some) is that it suspends your cycles, right…? For me it did just that. Fast forward to now I’m getting in to groove again. I really love having my period! Period! ( thought I would throw that one in!) It took me a while to convince my partner Sam about how awesomely sacred this time of the month is/was. – I basically told him to “grow up…” and allowed him to process WHY it’s so “gross” to him.

Knowing that now I have my cycles has made me more aware of my feelings. I must say that it Keeps getting better – each month! The more I honour it the greater it gets – the greater the feelings, the healing energy, the time to honour! Particularly this month for me has been ‘blissful’ – its such a pleasure to have my period… It really is an art! And unfortunately totally misunderstood by society as gross, and something that should be hidden from everyone… I say no more!

I had the pleasure recently of speaking with a group of tween (almost teenaged) girls and of course I had to mention “Periods” – I’m pretty sure I mentioned it along with breast feeding (my boobs were sore at the time and they were hearing about it lol). I questioned them on why the thought periods were gross… They gave their answer and I gave my opinion on how beautiful the whole process is (something they won’t ever hear in school – yet…. ;-) ) I talked about the ancient art of ‘The Red Tent‘, they were surprised but they began to understand and I hope they remember that for life – the seed has been planted!

Even men have issues with periods… I guess because they are always in the firing line of the hormones that speak the truth, perhaps the truth that has been locked away for 25 days and now it arrives ranting and raving uncontolablly? Who knows… I’m just speaking from my own experience. I know since I’ve begun living more in my athletic self – living, breathing and speaking my truth – my period gotten very pleasurable and I haven’t had the overwhelming outburst of anger, frustration and hormone rage at that time of the month. I’m choosing to PROCESS those feelings as they come, which is a challenge, but makes it all worth while! My partner is so used to me talking about how awesome and sacred that time is for me that even HE is happy for me- maybe slightly jealous too ;-) ??? (and he looks forward to ‘that time of the month’ because the connection factor is heightened – if ya know what I mean ;-) )

 

I’m learning to honour this time & because of that I have become:

- more productive with my work

- more connected to love at that time (rather than rage)

- more accepting of change

- more manageable hormones

- More healing from past or present hurts

- Eaily able to “go within” to find my own answers

- My spiritual awareness is much higher (and I often feel and get messages from the spiritual relm – weird huh!? I’m getting used to it now ;-) )

- and no pain whatsoever! (I only experience pain when my stress levels are high…then I quickly go “within’ – breath)

Sometimes I find myself retreating… Just hangin’ around. I might change plans if I had any, passionately following my inspiration, I often find that I want to be alone (where’s that Red Tent when ya need it!?), anything & everything goes! This month particularly I found a huge shift in spiritual awareness… Like that blissful state some feel when they are pregnant – I got that this month! “yes! I don’t have to be pregnant to feel like this” I thought to myself, when only weeks before I said to a friend that I would love to be pregnant agin… processing the thought further the reason why was because of the ‘pregnancy spiritual and emotional awareness’  and bliss factor that you get, but I don’t want another baby just yet as I do have other plans (I thought I was being ‘selfish’ then I flicked off that damaging thought quickly)… So I guess it’s all manifested because of that simple intention – of wanting to feel that bliss! All I can say is that I’m pregnant with a million inspired ideas and actions – bring on the birth! yeah!!!!

"The last time I was Pregnant - with a Baby (Tate)"

One of the most beautiful things that has come from this months womanly arts is a new gift – which I knew I had I was just unsure on how to birth it into the world… So I just rode the wave of inspired action and thought and created anther eBook (2 in a matter of a week and a half!) on ‘Messages from Your Soul’-  in this book I’m your souls voice and you’ll hear it speak to you more than ever before. You’ll hear messages from the past as well as the future & all life’s challenging moments. In this eBook your soul encourages you to to be ONE with it and to shine your beautiful shiny light! I’ve made it as a gift – no money exchange, just love exchange. I haven’t fished it just yet… well actually I did finish it then my computer crashed… Hmmm……? To stay informed and not miss a beat on when I birth this baby into the world sign up to my newsletter HERE.

"Writing 'Messages From Your Soul' for you!"

 

I want to encourage you to be on this journey with me (even the men that read my blog!) Awareness is important and the womanly arts cycles should be nourished, nurtured, loved & accepted fully, because every women deserves to fully experience this inspired and blissful state of her own cycles – it’s a beautiful thing! 

Much Love & Support as always! 

 

Posted in Healing - mind, body, spirit, Mummas, Pregnancy & Birth(s) | Leave a comment
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